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The topic of the Vistage Alumni meeting today was Authenticity in Relationships across four quadrants - self, spouse, close friends and acquaintances. Tom A. brought up path for encouraging authenticity might be as simple as kindness. This caused me to revisit my memory (and blog) of "Kind vs Good" -Sept 27, 2010.
Thankfully AI has helped me with a deeper dive:
Sixteen years ago, my blog referenced a sermon from Rev. Stover in which he said the word “kind” never appears in the Bible. At the time, that line sent my mind straight to Sondheim’s Into the Woods and Little Red Riding Hood’s sharp observation:
“Kind does not mean good.”
I didn’t realize then how often that distinction would come back to me.
Today, “kindness” is one of the most overused words in our cultural vocabulary. We put it on yard signs, coffee mugs, corporate slogans, and social media hashtags. “Be kind” has become a modern mantra. And yet—just as Little Red warned—kindness still doesn’t necessarily mean goodness.
Kindness has become easy. Goodness has not.
Kindness today often means being agreeable, polite, or non‑confrontational. It’s a social lubricant. It keeps the peace. It avoids friction. But goodness—real goodness—still demands something deeper:
moral courage
integrity
sacrifice
truthfulness
accountability
Goodness sometimes requires saying the hard thing, standing firm, or refusing to go along with something that is wrong. And in those moments, “kindness” can actually get in the way. We can be so eager to appear kind that we fail to be good.
The Bible’s language helps clarify the difference.
Rev. Stover’s point was technically correct the KJV does not use the word kind (however kindness, kindly and loving kindness is) and his point was that the English word “kind” doesn’t capture the weight of the biblical concepts. The Bible’s vocabulary is richer:
hesed — steadfast love, covenant loyalty, mercy
chrestotēs — moral goodness, uprightness, gracious strength
Biblical kindness is never mere niceness. It is goodness expressed. It is goodness with a spine.
Our world needs goodness first.
We live in a time when manipulation often masquerades as kindness. Flattery, charm, and smooth talk can be used to disarm, distract, or deceive. The wolf still knows how to smile.
So the lesson from 2010 holds even more strongly today:
Be good—and let kindness follow. Goodness is the root. Kindness is the fruit. When goodness leads, kindness becomes trustworthy. When kindness leads, goodness can be compromised.
Sixteen years later, I’m convinced of this:
Kindness is beautiful when it grows out of goodness. But kindness without goodness is just camouflage.
And Sondheim's Little Red Riding Hood still has the best line.
