Chainsaw Grieving and Grace

It all started (November 2020) with an idea from the Book Club group after we read "Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life  by Thich Nhat Hanh.  That idea converged with K.C.'s announcement that he had a new gadget - a battery operated chainsaw.  Putting those two "nudges" together, I decided to create a "Prayer Path" in our backyard forest.   

The Amazon Easter Bunny arrived with my new ECHO 16 in Cordless Chainsaw April 3 (yes it takes that long for me to ponder new projects).   Of course the previous four months I was doing analysis/paralysis on which Chainsaw to purchase and getting great advice and Youtube links from A.M.  (and others).

Many people warned me of the challenges of cutting down the evasive honeysuckle and specifically J.R. told me not to use the chainsaw on the small stuff.  But did I listen to him...... NOooooooooo,

Now to the story :)

On the second time out (Sat. Apr. 10, 2021) I continued my project of clearing out the honeysuckle.   Two hours into the project the chain slipped off the 16 inch saw blade.  Hmmmm,  could it be because I was lazy and was using the chainsaw on the small roots like a sickle?   Tired and irritated that I had not taken J.R.'s advice, I sat down to grumble..... and then grief set in. 

In situations like this, my first phone call would have been to Dad.  Somehow Dad had not  passed down the handyman gene to me.  In fact, instead of patiently finding the user manual and tackling the job myself, my normal mode of operation would be to just call DAD for HELP and instruction.   But that 65 year old reliable help line was disconnected.  

Unwilling to risk the "non handyman guy embarrassment", I had no courage to try a different help line call to J.R., A.M.  or any of my other handyman backups. To call them for instruction would risk losing my handyman self esteem.  To lazy to go get the user manual, I decided to just figure this out by trial and error.

After re-attaching the chain, I  dutifully retrieved the loppers from the garage and began manually cutting the small roots of the honeysuckle correctly until the next three inch diameter root appeared.  Time for my newly attached chain with the chainsaw!!!   At the press of the button and connection to the root.... -  the chain acted as if would take a year to cut completely through the root.  I HAD PUT THE CHAIN ON BACKWARDS!

Sitting down again... knowing the rule my Dad always followed - "As you take things apart, carefully document and lay out the exact configuration for re-assembly" thoughts of failure reentered my mind.  Next step ...  actually trudge up the hill to find the user manual that I had been told to always put in a place I would remember with all other user manuals.  Another rule of thumb I constantly had ignored.

Luckily, I found the manual, spent the time to read the instructions, and reapplied the chain.   In seconds the chain sliced through the root and my handyman stature and manly self esteem was reinstated.   

Now it was time for confession.   I popped off a text to A.M. 

What a comforting text back from A.M. after both grieving and feeling unworthy.  We all need GRACE  in our times of trouble and sorrow.  That GRACE washes away our grieving and self imposed lies of unworthiness.  The light of love emerges from the depths of darkness. Follow the path of light.