Educational Pandemic

Even though schools may be closed, there is much learning going on - at least for those interested in learning more about this global crisis.

(1) Exponential growth and various statistics about calculating mortality rates
(2) Country and Culture comparisons in approach to dampening the virus progress
(3) Biology of animal to human transmission of virus (yes I had to look up  pangolins and civets).

(4) Generational respect -  Asking the youth to stop partying and transmitting the COVID-19 to us old folks.
(5) Political laws about cancelling primaries or elections.
(6) Powers of Executive Branches (Federal, State and Local) in declared emergencies
(7) Charts depicting the damping and slowing down process
(8) Social customs of greeting and how to perform social distancing
(9) Specific instructions on hygiene and how to wash your hands
(10) Statistics on how often you touch your face (about 3000 times a day)
(11) How to amuse yourself without Sports, Bars, Parades, Restaurant, Gym, ....  you name it.
(12) Maybe seek some additional spiritual growth and education
(13) How to work from home
(14) Learning how to use technology (e.g. Amazon order; Echo Show communication; Overdrive for library books)

I even liked the creativity and actions this virus is drawing out of businesses:
 
(1) Restaurants now considering the delivery business
(2) Specific store hours by age distribution  (maybe to help in the normal flu season)
(3) Work Conferencing
(4) Communicating with customers and suppliers
(5) Expediting supply chains in critical industries
(6) Accelerate the vaccine development and delivery process
(7) Business interruption plans and contingency


Yes - a crisis like this can create new ways of thinking and doing business.   Additionally it can create a sense and need for global cooperation and problem solving.  Yes - there will be plenty of suffering, but maybe it is the very suffering that will point us to the single source of joy.

In spite of all the recommendations to manage social distancing physically, a crisis like this can only be managed by socially interconnecting virtually and spiritually.

Diabetes Downer

It has been quite a week of emotional challenges for the family.  Jenna now faces Type1 Diabetes and the family now enters a new journey of learning and support for this chronic condition.  Like first learning a new vocabulary word, buying a new model car, or any other newly learned (or acquired) item, suddenly the incidence of occurrence all around you seems greater than ever before.  Almost as common as every other part of your life.

For Diabetes the numbers are large but still a small percent of the population - 422 Million (2016) or 8.5% of adults. 90% of those have Type 2 so those with Type 1 are more rare  (1.25 Million in the USA).  Even with so small a number, as people we know have compassionately reached out to us, we have found numerous friends and their families with Type 1 Diabetes (8 and counting). Even though Type 1 is usually diagnosed at an early age (Juvenile), our connections were all diagnosed in their 30's.

Causes of Type 1 are unknown, but they have found some genes (HLA genotypes)  that influence the risk.  Other theories include environmental factors - possible viral infection or diet (gliaden a protein present in gluten).  But there is no real evidence for any of these yet.

As I told Jenna, knowing the cause (without any cure - preventative or post) does the person with the condition no good. Any anger associated with it just becomes self defeating and an unproductive use of time. Better to move as quickly from this emotion and from grief (which will occur)  to an emotional equilibrium with this new condition and hope for achieving the best future possible.

Easy to say (especially from a person that doesn't have the condition), but in reality everyone of us has some condition or weakness (inherited or created) that we must live with, cope with, and use to the best of our ability to achieve the purpose we were created for by God.  We maybe equal in the eyes of God, but we are all unequal in our own eyes. Only when we look at others, are we tempted to judge our own circumstances.  We can either let envy flood our thoughts or compassion redirect our attention into service and humility for our blessings.

Highway to Heaven

Last night I got to help a friend (M.I.) who is on a rehabilitation journey from an unfortunate accident back in July.  We talked about the challenges of life when the road suddenly turns a different way than we envisioned.  Add to that new bumps, roadblocks, mandatory detours, and even broken bridges preventing progress. We think we are in control, and can build the road we want - the superhighway that we can speedily rush to our destination.  But no - each of our journeys - the roads we take -  are not built by us and are complicated by intersections;  and others who are journeying on the same road (racing us at times); on ramps and off ramps; even choices that we freely take when there is a fork in the road.

Yet we all travel together, some on the same path, others beside us, and yes, even traffic moving the opposite way.  We wish there was a world of autonomous cars, all perfectly coordinated, symbiotic in unison and cooperation where we can securely and leisurely sit as we are carried comfortably to our destination.  Just tell the car where to go and relax.  Everyone will be happy.

Yet this vision of "Travel Heaven" is doomed to fail here on earth.  The roads here are always under construction, filled with selfish drivers who think of themselves first.

I think this was (and is) the plan - the very purpose we are placed here to experience.  The hard work of navigating the very curves in the road that we are faced with.  Asking for help from others for directions (when we are lost) and creatively overcoming the obstacles along the way.

Beep Beep -  For those stuck in the road and not moving forward  -  there is always a way.

Resting Space

"Music is best where there is space between the notes" remarked A.S. at a Vistage meeting some time ago.   How true also for our life -  "Life is best where there is space between the busy schedule".

In this Holiday hustle and bustle, everyone seems to stress out on running out of time - for the Christmas Cards, decorating the house, shopping for presents, people we want to connect with, year end deadlines and the list goes on and on.  Yet everyday (and even the most scheduled person) has white space - time in car, time between meetings, time between tasks, even time during meals.

How do you celebrate that "space"?   Do you fill it with noise, randomness, or purpose?  Here's a radical idea - schedule some space!  Schedule some ..... Rest.

Work to Live or Live to Work

I remember my Grandfather Well's wisdom when he said: "You either Work to Live or Live to Work".  He said this as he was asking me also about my hobbies recognizing that my work-aholic  tendencies may have over emphasized the Live to Work part.  He also said: "Without hobbies, interests and other relationships..... the day you retire is the day you start to die."

I just finished reading Barry Schwartz's Ted Original book (from the TED Talk series) titled "Why We Work".  The question seems simple yet the answer is embedded in a complex weave of our human nature, institutional and governmental systems, motivations, and yes.... moral sentiments with the haunting of life's purpose.

I always felt that attitude was 80% of the solution.  Even life's worst job, with the right attitude, can be fulfilling - as Schwartz says "who they are, not what the work is".  I even remember at Accenture when the Functional Head of the Human Resource consulting practice shocked me with the HR principal that money (and incentives) will not create sustainable employee job satisfaction -  substantiated by significant surveys and psychological data.

Schwartz postulates that our ideas and/or ideology (which may be false truths) about why we work may "bear a large measure of the responsibility for the nature of our work".  I grew up in a billable hour mindset (consulting fees) and as such started putting a price on time - an evening with friends has "costs".  My obsession with studying time and money may have grow out of this very mindset.

So there is some danger in false ideology - meaning that it can become true simply by people believing it's true.  I reconstruct how I think about my actions to match the false ideology; The self fulfilling prophecy can take over; The Pygmalion Effect of expectations by others might take over; or Institutionalizing the idea in social and governmental structures overpowers you. 

So before you give up and believe that we are stuck in a declining spiral of unfulfilling work paradigms. Remember that human beings are "value soaked" creatures.  Everything we do announces a value (a purpose).  Embedded in our hearts is that search for value - which is our choice.  Our "work" will always reflect our value (good or bad).  If our work is bad or unfulfilling, the conflict in our soul will press us with suffering until we resolve the false ideology.

Working to Live .... for what purpose?  Living for purpose is your work.

Vistage Inklings

Tomorrow I will meet with my Vistage 1107 group. I look forward to these meetings each and every month.  I can even "blame" a Vistage session by B.E. for this blog.

There are only four of us that remain as the founding group that started meeting back in July 2004.  G. B. will be in the "spotlight" and I'm sure it will be interesting.  Reading about C.S. Lewis's group called the Inklings, Vistage serves this purpose for me.  A  group of very talented business professionals meeting monthly for friendship, "carefrontation", business idea stimulation, and personal development. In fact, every meeting I get some sort of inkling - a whisper, a nudge from one of the members.

I reviewed my inklings and scribbles from all the 2016 meetings and found the pages littered with quotes, ideas, goals, to dos, and a tapestry my own and others comments.  With twelve years of nudges and notes, I can see a pattern improvement and growth.

My next Spotlight #11 is March 2017 and that responsibility launches me into what has become a very enjoyable activity of self reflection, philosophical musing, and deep emersion of research and learning.  Covering all topics from personal mission, time/money, risk/reward, luck, happiness, longevity, Heaven, friendship and even "Golden Oldies",  I wait to get inspired by a subject that will be fun to research and valuable information for the other members.

So what will be the subject?  Business topics I'm considering - Leadership; Customer Experience; Technology Shifts; Margin or Revenue; Ethics Interpersonal topics I'm considering - Memories, Hobbies and Habits; Creativity; Giving;

I need an inkling :)

Pride or Prejudice

Rarely do you get to admit mistakes or experience the growth in your own thinking.  But authors, writers, bloggers, and journal keepers have that chance. Now with visual technology advancements there is the historical trail of speeches, movement, and precise location of events with proof of attendees and fellow patrons.  Increasingly this is available for public scrutiny or as one author called it social surveillance.

Much of the basis of criticism we have of others is finding a mistake or pointing out some form of hypocritical action.. Yet every individual is subject to both mistakes and obtaining new sources of information that allow them to grow in emotional and intellectual maturity.  How easy it is for the smarter or more emotionally mature person to use their "perceived" superiority or power (in knowledge or experience) to belittle or intimidate the other.

I'm concluding that the 2016 election has been a divide driven by intellectual prejudices  fueled by the media who enjoy (and are economically incented to and rewarded for) widening this gap.  Deplorables, Racists, Dogmatic Far ... left or right; Demographic stereotyping, Uneducated, Elitist, ... the list goes on and on. 

Change the context of superiority  and think in terms of parent/child or teacher/student.  How would you communicate and interact with your child or student?  What language, examples, or stories would you use to create the necessary dialogue in your relationship?  Out of what goals and emotional connection would you accept each others actions and behaviors? Is the parent always right and infallible?  How is truth revealed and discovered?

Pride or Prejudice -  either cloak will hide your soul.

How Much .....?

Reading "Social... why our brains are wired to connect" has been a delight.  You can get Matthew Liebermann's highlights in his Ted Talk https://youtu.be/NNhk3owF7RQ but I highly recommend the book for many interesting stories and details.

Just how much are social aspects of our lives worth?  Putting a price tag on friends, relatives, and neighbors.  Having a friend whom you see on most days, compared to not having such a friend, had the same impact on well-being as making an extra $100K per year.  Being married is also worth $100K while a divorce is equivalent of your salary slashed by $90K. Seeing a neighbor  regularly -$60K.   And physical health  - $400K.

Interestingly -  the savings a couple needs for medical is $245K (see https://www.fidelity.com/about-fidelity/employer-services/health-care-costs-for-couples-retirement-rise).  But more interesting is the difference between a healthy person and unhealthy person (5 chronic health conditions and 5 prescription drugs) during retirement.  The healthy person need 20% less retirement income for medical needs. 

Then put two and two - together.  Liebermann makes the case for the correlation of good health with social interaction and relationships.  Ironically he also points out the fallacy that more money creates more happiness. 

So it is not about how much money social interactions are worth as it is time in your life.

How much time are social aspects of our life worth?  Did you devote any time to that today?

Musical Coach

Yesterday was a snow day - so no blog (what an excuse).   I was assigned the MRC (Musical Resource Center) for coaching for the Semi finals of Fast Pitch 2016.

Twenty non-profits in Cincinnati will present their 3 minute pitch to the SVP Cincinnati Partners and we will vote for the final 8 that will practice and refine their pitch for the March 2 Finals.

Three minutes is not much time to introduce your non-profit and show how you are making an impact on peoples lives.   Too often they try to impart too much information with too many words.  My advice is that you will win or lose based on the first ...... and last 30 seconds. 

My suggestion to MRC for their final 30 seconds:

So….. What does MRC mean to you?   Well it’s not about trying to find America’s Next Idol or Band.  It’s not about aspiring to be the winner of The Voice.  MRC is about inspiring America’s youth through music.  MRC is about winning in Virtue – building virtue each and every day – 4 hours a day, after school, in Cincinnati.  Vote for MRC and you will be expanding our 2000  family of successful youth now and for generations to come.

Just visiting MRC was enlightening and educational.  It brought back memories of how my parents nurtured the gift of music in my life.  The discipline of practicing, preparing, and performing helped me be more successful in everyday activities.  So many kids do not have anything structured in the 4 hours after school that can create problems -  "Idle minds are the Devils playground".

Netweaving vs Networking

At the January Vistage meeting R.R. said this year he is working on better Netweaving vs Networking.  What a better term for Introverts - as Networking is definitely WORK  for their personality type and to WEAVE sounds just like an introvert activity. 

I found a site with the title (and maybe the author of the term) www.netweaving.com - Netweaving International.  Based on the belief in the law of reciprocity, a Netweaver gives first in order to receive.  Rather than looking for ways or people (prospects) to help themselves, Netweavers are living the Golden Rule by helping others first. 

I'M _POSSIBLE

A new sermon series is in progress at Crossroads - Anything is Possible.  You can view each week on-line or subscribe to the iTunes podcast.  This weekend was a special presentation by Jeremy Cowart a renowned photographer that described his journey from " I CAN'T " to Philippians 4:13.

The key message was about action, not words, nor the pre-judgment of others.  I thought it was a unique way to present as Jeremy recited as the same words appeared on his creative visual slides with motivating music in the background - a live .... author stream presentation or Ted Talk.  I think his material is copyrighted so the presentation may not be available to replay.

The key take away:   IMPOSSIBLE  is best recited as I'M  POSSIBLE.



 

It Takes a Relationship

It was a fun evening with J.P. and D.P. filled with philosophy, political arguments and relationship/friendship banter. 

The key debate this evening was about the importance of family to happiness.  My point of view was that relationships trumped family.  Obviously we start with family (a mom and dad), and if we are fortunate, this provides a foundation of love (i.e. "loving family").  Too often though the family unit is disrupted or non existent, so does this mean there is no hope for happiness?

The conservative view of "it takes a family" (Bob Dole's 1996 speech) rebutting Hilary Clinton's 1996 book "It takes a Village" was a decent political conservative counter.  However, I believe both views are short sighted. The context of that debate was around raising children - but I think it applies to the debate about family and happiness also.

I believe "it takes a relationship" - a loving relationship to foster happiness. 

J.P. cited Brook's book on Happiness in his defense of correlating family to happiness. He cited Brooks' five key "determinants" of happiness - Faith, Family, Friendship and Work.  I had studied Brooks back in 2011 and quipped that maybe our procreation instinct was to create family for the pursuit of happiness ( see "Billions of Happiness - 10/31/2011"). Yes that could be the start of a successful relationship - but not guaranteed if not fraught with probable pitfalls.

Barry Schwartz (author of one of my favorite books "The Paradox of Choice") took exception to Brooks five determinant postulate in his editorial to the NY Times - strike one, two, three.  "So yes, by all means, let us foster the aspects of life that really contribute to happiness. But let us at the same time acknowledge that market fundamentalism is probably the biggest threat to human happiness that we face."

Aristotle placed friendship above justice and the highest form of love (see "Earn a Friend 8/10/2015").   I prefer to use Aristotle in my argument that relationship trumps family.  Family love can become conflicted with abuse, competition, control, and .... well the list of potential flaws is endless. You don't choose your family - it can be a one way ticket in the relationship journey.

Friendships and relationships are mutual and "earned".  You can choose a relationship, you have no choice in family.  Consequently, I view the freedom of choice as the path to happiness - and you get to choose relationships.

There are plenty of happy individuals without family.  But there are no happy individuals without relationships (friends). 

It's great to have friends to argue with  ---- Now that is a relationship paradox of choice  :)

National Honor Society

Monday evening Susan and I attended the admitting ceremonies for Ellen into the National Honor Society.  Later that evening I tried to find my 1972 pin, but alas it is buried in some like of nostalgia box in the unfinished basement.

It seemed like half of the junior class at Indian Hill High School were admitted - there were over 60 honored that evening.  Yet it is a milestone and a very important achievement.  Today I was performing mock interviews at Miami University (Oxford) and noticed this on the Freshman's resume.   What a breath of freshness to see - since the advice given at College Placement offices (probably under the illusion from the Human Resource professionals at Corporate America) is to not put High School information on the resume.

I have exactly the opposite point of view.   A junior in college (or even senior) has only 7 years of his/her life to describe and differentiate themselves.  High School today is like junior colleges were in my day in both academics and encouraging other extra-curricular activities.  Why shouldn't that be something the individual be proud of.

As asked the freshman today - "What is the sole purpose of a resume"?   The answer is simple .... TO GET AN INTERVIEW.

So if someone like me thinks being in the National Honor Society is a hiring attribute (because he did it) - then,  by all means,  get it on your resume.

Congratulations Ellen -  you have just created a line on your future resume!

To Shave or Not to Shave

Ellen still has the trump card on my facial hair.  When I asked her the other day if I should shave, she said, "Dad, November is no shave month - so at least you must keep it during November.  So that is the excuse I use now for the  few remaining people in my network who have not seen my new look.

I was wondering if Movember is the same as No Shave November and discovered they are different.  Both promote health - Movember is broadly Men's Health and No Shave November - American Cancer Society.

It's a great branding and awareness concept - but what's the stubble's edge (show me the money)?

 

Movember requests donations to their foundation.  No Shave November asks that the savings of shaving materials during November be donated to the American Cancer Society.

 

Can this branding even come close to the October pink ribbons of Women's Breast Cancer that started in 1991 with the Susan G. Komen Foundation?  These two men's health awareness similar campaigns started in 2003 and 2004 respectively - so they are 12 years behind.

 

So as men decide whether to participate - November will be a question of:

 

 "To shave or Not to Shave". 

 

 

Vistage Moai

Today was the monthly Vistage meeting.  We ended the meeting introducing ourselves to a potential new member.  It was interesting to hear the various testimonials ( e.g. the value Vistage has for them personally)  of twelve of the Vistage 1107 group.

There are five of the twelve that were "charter" members (now 11 years).  That qualifies as near loyalty (see previous day's post) - maybe a moai. 

Every meeting I leave with self improvement jewels:

(1) "Blue Zones" Dan Buettner's 9 secrets to live a long live and his Ted's Talk
(2)  B.D. 's comment about great sculptor who responded to how he created such a beautiful sculpture of a Horse.  "I just start with the stone and take away anything that is not a horse."
(3) A.S.  "Instead of dialing 911,  I decided to do a 119 call to you"
(4) J.B  "Career Happiness is finding out what you want to do .....  and who you want to work with"
(5) J.B. "Create your -  'I wish, I wonder' list"
(6) Reflections from the All City meeting -  "What is your Customer Experience Map"  and tell me about a Customer Experience that is unique for a customer (sustainable but not scalable ).

Always a high point of my month.

PS  -  The Ted Talk mentions the Okinawan tradition of forming a moai that provides a secure social network. Our Vistage group doesn't come close to the 97 year moai of the Okinawan ladies - but it's a good start :)

Loyalty Rewards

What defines loyalty?   U.S.A. companies search for the holy grail of brand loyalty in consumers to harvest a lifetime of purchases.  So I began thinking about what companies or products have I been loyal to for over twenty years (since 1996).  Sony, Cincinnati Bell, General Motors, Yahoo, Sams Club, Kroger, Allen Edmonds, Microsoft, Amazon, PNC Bank, Schwab, Verizon, Vanguard, Delta Air, Hertz, Marvel, Duke Energy, Accenture and a few food brands. 

Some of what defines loyalty is "first to market" as is the case with my bank, brokerage,  and wireless provider.  Those relationships are "sticky" and requires effort to change. Others becomes convenience (location/monopoly related), Microsoft, Kroger, Delta Air, etc.

There have been some loyalty tests for many in my list, but each company was able to survive the temporary dissatisfaction with appropriate customer service. 

Loyalty in human relationships (see "Earn a Friend"), or in groups (clubs, ideologies, religion, nationalism etc.) is quite different and not necessarily exclusionary.  Sometimes loyalty is misplaced as duty and recklessly followed to one's demise. 

Loyalty is best described as commitment. Commitment requires passion.  Sustainable passion means willing to forgive.  Loyalty takes time and tests but yields a lifetime of rewards.

 

Earn a Friend

This last week I set a goal to not access computer or email after 6pm and limit the use during the weekend.  Not an easy feat.  How did I fill that time?  Gardening, Reading, Movies with Ellen, Napping, and Relationship stuff.  I even took time to complete a project in my backlog - Relationship Matrix.

I dreamed up a matrix to quantify relationships or friendship.  I figured that a friend can be viewed as a function of elapsed time known and quality time "earned". 

Aristotle said that friendship transcends justice and that it is the highest form of love.  He delineates friendship into three types:

(1) Friendship of mutual pleasure
(2) Friendship of utility
(3) Friendship of respect

He derives these three kinds of friendship from the three kinds of good:

(1) The good that gives us pleasure
(2) The good that is useful
(3) The good that is moral

There are ONLY three good reasons for doing or loving something:

(1) Either it is morally good
(2) Or it is a practical necessity
(3) Or..... it gives you some kind of joy

What better model to use to determine friends.  And remember ........ to have a friend, you must first be a friend.

Earn a point today -  call a friend!

Self Employed Tips

It was a day filled with Vision and business strategy for the All City Vistage meeting "Leading with 2020 Vision".  Three excellent speakers  talking about the Customer experience, Competing for the Future and Visionary execution. 

Customer Experience:   I asked our table what single customer experience had they encountered that would demonstrate excellence in Customer service?  Nothing really came up -  4 guys with over 240 years of consuming - and no real specific example or story was told.  However..... many of us had stories of the opposite experiences.  Customer Service nightmares - hate of providers -  never again buyer stories.  Mine were permanently etched in my memory - American Express and Time Warner.

I asked our table to describe what brands they are most loyal (consistent buying over 10 -15 years)  in buying.  This was an easier question and had many answers.  Mine were - Sony, GM, Cincinnati Bell, Allen Edmonds, Microsoft, PNC Bank, Yahoo, Schwab, Sams Club, Verizon and some food brands. While Customer Service/Experience was a large part of this loyalty - the reality is my loyalty to these brands was more about delivering consistent value and addressing any mistakes along the way.

Competing for the Future:  What do Kodak, Blockbuster, Radio Shack have in common? Casualties of the DCX - Digital Customer Experience.  The Baby Boomers grew up in an analog word and the Millennials (Gen Y) have grown up in a digital world.  To compete in the future, companies must start over in the digital world.  Don't attempt to incrementally change business analog processes to into digital copies. 

"It isn't the past which holds us back, it's the future and how we undermine it today" Victor Frankl

Visionary Execution:  Innovation is the magical intersection (and synchrony) of Insight, Idea and Experience.  Advertising and marketing is the tax you pay for a bad idea with little insight and poor execution.  Go to the source - your customer's customer.  Go from B2B to B2C to B2me!    Intelligence is learning from your own mistakes but Wisdom is learning from the mistakes of others.  Wisdom is a gift given from the humility of others. 

Visionary Execution is knowing your "Why".  Start with Insight discussions (before the ideas)  and balancing the 'idea monkeys" with the "ring leaders" during both vision and execution.

  
So how can you apply these three topics in your personal business - your life?

(1) Focus your relationships on consistent delivery (matching expectations with communication) and upon mistakes - recover with asking for forgiveness.
(2)  Be Brave - let the future reinvent your past.
(3) Surround yourself with the wisdom of others. Be vulnerable and let wisdom flow between you and others.

A good day - we are all self employed to do better..

Time to Worry

The lesson in Sunday evening's fellowship group was about worry.  I think at the root of worry is time.  Every self help book you read (including the Bible) suggests that you concentrate your attention on the present.  Worrying about past events, or future activities is not a productive use of your time.  But what about - learning lessons from the past;  or planning your goals and future.  Those activities take time and can accrue benefits to the individual.

The problem becomes with worry overcomes the optimal time for reflecting on the past and future.  Worry can evolve into stress;  Overpowering stress becomes unhealthy.  Unhealthy bodies lose time in life. 

So - what is the antidote to worry.  Action can be one potential antidote.  Action takes time and usually eliminates the time available to worry.  "Just do it" comes to mind.  Or Bob Edward's famous one liner - "So what are you going to do about it".

Concentrating on what you can control (in Covey's language your circle of influence) and keeping what you can't control out of your "worry space", can be perfect visual to help you spend less time worrying.

Covey's Circle of Influence

 

 Worry is a way of feeling you can influence something totally outside your control.  If you spend more time worrying,  the only thing you change is your time -  less time. 

Worry about that.  :)

Strength in Weakness

S.M. gave a heart filled presentation on his personal history at our Vistage meeting.  The testimonial of some of his weaknesses showed how his character turned that same perceived weakness into a strength.  I remember G.G.'s (Accenture Chicago Partner) comment to me about the cruelty of kids when they see something they can use to taunt you into feeling different or weak.  This is especially true of minorities whose physical differences can not be hidden. But even without an easy target to use, kids will find something - height, intellect, glasses, attire as the means to get under your skin.

We all know what "buttons" of vulnerability we have (and some are self inflicted).  However,  how we respond to this vulnerability (e.g. fear) is what will determine our ability to cope.  Self esteem (not pride) is an important emotion to build.  

Acknowledging a weakness is a strength and the first step in building a foundation of self esteem.