Heaven Board #19 - Bread of Friendship

A beautiful Sunday morning meditation on the deck allows me the blessing of reflecting on yesterday's celebration of life for Joe Ratterman -mentor, colleague, close friend for over 48 years.  Joe suffered from Parkinson's since 2009.  I loved what his family wrote in his obituary posted at Spring Grove Cemetery site -

My thoughts in his memorial tribute makes this a definite Heaven Board entry!

Joe Ratterman was a man of many hats – though more often than not, those hats took the literal form of a ball cap.  Even with all those hats, in 48 years of knowing Joe, I’m sure there were other hats invisible to me.

I knew Accenture Joe, Social Venture Partners Joe, Golfing Joe, Bengals Joe, Philosophy over a Lager Joe, Frugal Joe, Old Man Tuesday Movie Joe, Storytelling Joe, Hyde Park Country Club Joe, Haps Joe, Gorman Heritage Farmer Joe, BMW Joe, St. X Joe, Fort Scott Camp Joe, Family Joe.

But beneath all those hats were Listening Joe, Strong Willed Joe, Honest Joe, Practical Joe, Even Handed Joe, Joking Joe, Caring Joe, Giving Joe, Philosophical Joe, Loving Joe and the one hat that covered them all: Friendship Joe

Let me share a moment that’s stuck with me.  In 2016,  well after his Parkinson’s diagnosis, I asked Joe for his definition of a friend – it was for a presentation I was preparing.  Without missing a beat, he said

 “Someone I don’t have to talk to on a drive all the way to Chicago”. 

That was Joe – No fluff, No performance.  Just presence.  Even near the end, when words were fewer, his friendship remained unmistakable.

And Joe never kept his friendships to himself. – I lost count  of how many times someone approached him out of nowhere full of gratitude.  If you were a friend of Joe’s you were ushered into a web of warmth and mutual respect. This was just his nature: love that overflowed and expanded.

Joe and I often talked about life and philosophy over a beer or two. One day at Paxton’s Grill – a lyric drifted through the speakers that made both of us stop and listen.  It was Sturgill Simpson singing:

“But I swear that God is there…… every time I glare into the eyes of my best friend”.   

 It was, in a word, “a God wink”. A sacred interruption tucked into our normal after lunch tradition.

We had our ritual “Solving World Problems” we’d call it, half-jokingly.  But these talks often drifted into deep spiritual waters – life purpose, mortality and even heaven.   I remember one deep discussion about Peter Kreeft’s book Heaven: The Heart’s Deepest Longing.  Joe pictured heaven as a place of golf and ease, but then his Jesuit training from St. X kicked in. He paused, got serious and reflected on Kreeft’s image of heaven;  “Where heaven is like an unborn child asking – where is the world. Earth is not outside heaven, it is heaven’s workshop, heaven’s womb. We are already a part of the heavenly body.” 

That conversation didn’t solve any world problems but its memory provides me some comfort now. Joe wasn’t just ready for this next step – he had thought about it, welcomed it, and met it with courage and wonder.   That was Joe once again leading the way for me.

Now, Joe could never quite get into C.S. Lewis despite all my best efforts – but I think he’d forgive me for taking a liberty here.  If I may paraphrase Lewis in Joe’s honor: 

“Joe’s Friendship reflects a glorious nearness to heaven itself where the multitude of the blessed increases the fruition which each of us has of our ultimate friend in God.  For every soul, seeing Him in his own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest.  The more we thus share in friendship -  the Heavenly Bread between us - the more we shall have.”

Joe – my friend - our friendship is now virtual – You don’t have to talk …. whether we’re on the road to Chicago or crossing into eternity.  Until we share the Bread of Friendship again, I’ll carry the memory

Life - TIME - Investing

Good friend E.W. is retiring at age 71 from Infosys tomorrow.  He and I worked together at Accenture back in the day.  Like a good consultant, E.W. had a list of eight things on his "second half" list that were in relative priority how he envisioned his "retirement".   Quickly, I challenged him with the idea of time management and referred him to my Life-time Investment presentation that I created back in November 2012 - Learning Earning Living and Giving  and my youtube powerpoint presentation:

Naturally E.W. (the esteemed consultant that he is), felt my magic quadrant chart was outdated and needed updating!   So - I decided to get NotebookLM's help and produced the following podcast to better explain the methodology and spiritual philosophy.

Investing Life: Learning, Earning, Living, Giving

Hopefully this passes the AI upgrade test.

I guess I need to add a time bubble of AI learning in my 70's decade planning.

Pathetic Customer Service Wanna Be

Today at lunch I heard a classic Customer Service story from a friend (privacy was requested) that reminded me of my own favorite POOR Customer Service Story.  Here are two classics in one blog.

WARNING:

The content of this story is politically charged (especially in today's incivility) and contains graphical language that may offend you (depending on your political bias).  Read forward at your own risk.

Story #1  -   A supporter of President Donald Trump recently called Nordstrom (yes Nordstrom the infamous icon of superb Customer Service) to voice her objection about the recent news of their discontinuing of Ivanka Trump merchandise.

[Note some history here: During the election there was a call to boycott Nordstrom back in October with a balanced Nordstrom's response "Nordstrom responds to viral letter"]. Back to the story ---  

After waiting 15 minutes on hold, she then told the Nordstrom Customer Service Representative that she would be forced [because of Nordstrom's politically pressured actions] to cancel her Nordstrom's credit card. 

[Here's the punchline Customer service response]

"That's PATHETIC, Sorry to see you go."

Story #2  -   Years ago, I was continuously flying every week during my years at Accenture.  Going back and forth to Canada, I had decided to fly both Delta and Canadian Air.  I had been a Platinum card holder of Delta for 5-6 continuous years when during the heavy years of flying to Canada, I had missed by a few segments reaching Platinum status. I decided to send an email to Delta Customer Service requesting consideration for an exception and to renew my Platinum status.   The return email subject was titled:

"Platinum Wanna Be"

Here are two stories of how exemplary customer service that drives intense customer loyalty can be lost in a single word!  And they both demonstrate how these stories are etched into the memory of individuals and spread virally to the detriment of the company.

Pathetic Customer Service Representative Wanna Be

Work to Live or Live to Work

I remember my Grandfather Well's wisdom when he said: "You either Work to Live or Live to Work".  He said this as he was asking me also about my hobbies recognizing that my work-aholic  tendencies may have over emphasized the Live to Work part.  He also said: "Without hobbies, interests and other relationships..... the day you retire is the day you start to die."

I just finished reading Barry Schwartz's Ted Original book (from the TED Talk series) titled "Why We Work".  The question seems simple yet the answer is embedded in a complex weave of our human nature, institutional and governmental systems, motivations, and yes.... moral sentiments with the haunting of life's purpose.

I always felt that attitude was 80% of the solution.  Even life's worst job, with the right attitude, can be fulfilling - as Schwartz says "who they are, not what the work is".  I even remember at Accenture when the Functional Head of the Human Resource consulting practice shocked me with the HR principal that money (and incentives) will not create sustainable employee job satisfaction -  substantiated by significant surveys and psychological data.

Schwartz postulates that our ideas and/or ideology (which may be false truths) about why we work may "bear a large measure of the responsibility for the nature of our work".  I grew up in a billable hour mindset (consulting fees) and as such started putting a price on time - an evening with friends has "costs".  My obsession with studying time and money may have grow out of this very mindset.

So there is some danger in false ideology - meaning that it can become true simply by people believing it's true.  I reconstruct how I think about my actions to match the false ideology; The self fulfilling prophecy can take over; The Pygmalion Effect of expectations by others might take over; or Institutionalizing the idea in social and governmental structures overpowers you. 

So before you give up and believe that we are stuck in a declining spiral of unfulfilling work paradigms. Remember that human beings are "value soaked" creatures.  Everything we do announces a value (a purpose).  Embedded in our hearts is that search for value - which is our choice.  Our "work" will always reflect our value (good or bad).  If our work is bad or unfulfilling, the conflict in our soul will press us with suffering until we resolve the false ideology.

Working to Live .... for what purpose?  Living for purpose is your work.

Boston Legal #8

It was my turn to host what has become a fun summer tradition that came about rather spontaneously. It was a GOLDEN SESSION.

There are just times the guys need to convene independently and without female supervision or oversight.  I justified this principal in two ways - first citing Brian Tome's recent book "Five Marks of a Man" and C.S. Lewis's excerpt from "Four Loves".

Long before history began we men have got together apart from the women and done things. We had to.  And to like doing what must be done is a characteristic that has survival value.  We not only had to do the things, we had to talk about them.  We had to  plan the hunt and the battle.  When they were over we had to hold a post mortem and draw conclusions for future use.  We liked this even better.  We ridiculed or punished the cowards and bunglers, we praised the star-performers.  We reveled in technicalities.  In fact, we talked shop.  We enjoyed one another's society greatly: we Braves, we hunters, all bound together by shared skill, shared dangers and hardships, esoteric jokes ---away from the women and children.

What were the women doing meanwhile?  How should I know?  I am a man and never spied on the mysteries of the Bona Dea.  They certainly often had rituals from which men were excluded. ......

This pleasure in co-operation, in talking shop, in mutual respect and understanding of men who daily see one another tested, is biologically valuable.  You may, if you like, regard it as a product of the gregarious instinct... something which is going on at this moment in dozens of ward-rooms, bar-rooms, common-rooms, messes and golf clubs.  I prefer to call it Companionship --- or Clubbableness.

In a perfect Friendship.... each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before the rest.  Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters.  He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company.  Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others.  THOSE ARE THE GOLDEN SESSIONS; when four or five of us after a hard day's walking have come to our inn; when our slippers are on, our feet spread out towards the blaze and our drinks at our elbows; when the whole world, and something beyond the world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim on or any responsibility for another, but all are Freemen and Equals as if we had first met an hour ago,  while at the same time an Affection mellowed by the years enfolds us.  Life ---- natural life --- has no better gift to give.  Who could have deserved it?

 

Whether it's Wednesday Guys Tennis, SVP Cincinnati Guys Appendix club, AC Alumni Partner, Friday Morning Men's Bible Study, or Men's Movie night (e.g. War Movies), Vistage (mainly the guys), we Braves can mark ourselves as MEN not BOYS!

 

Leap February

Well - my best intentions to keep routinely blogging resulted in a first - Leap February (or should I say leap right over February).  There is no blog entry for the entire month of February.

People miss speak of this as a Leap Year - meaning an extra day in February.  The precise term should be that this year has a Leap Day in it. Why they call the extra day a Leap Day vs "Extra Day", I have no clue.  Our next Leap Day is Feb. 29, 2020 (on the every four year cycle).  Something I did not realize is that there is also a 100 year "Leap Year" cycle which ignores the 4 year cycle of Leap Day (our last one was 1900 and the next will be 2100).  In the case of these two years, Feb. 29 is leaped over (e.g. ignored). But why not 2000?  Because it is divisible by 400. Hmmmm

Somehow, I had missed the significance of the Year 2000 (Leap Year exception) as I was focused on all the other Information Technology conversion issues related to programs that were coded without foresight of still being executed in the year 2000.  As a programmer we were never really worried about the 100 year "Leap Year" exceptions.

So what economic significance is there for a Leap Day?  It depends.  For some businesses (like Accenture) a Leap Day could be an extra day of revenue with no real cost for salaried worker ( an automatic 0.02% increase in annual gross margin). But you can't automatically assume a Leap Day adds an extra workday in the year.

The real question of how many workdays  there are in a year which depends BOTH on whether there is a Leap Day falling on a weekday AND on how weekends fall in any given year AND on the number federal holidays.  Is your head spinning yet? 
Here is the calculation of workdays for the next few years:
2016 - 251 days (Leap Day)
2017 - 250 days
2018 - 251 days
2019 - 251 days
2020 - 252 days (Leap Day)

So look for a gross margin increase for consulting firms (without doing anything) not this year - but in 2020.  Be careful next year as the number of workdays goes down - better work a billable Saturday to make it up. 

PS - Want to spin your head more -  What happens to 24/7 businesses when daylight savings time kicks in next week.

PPS -  Couldn't resist looking to see if I had "productively" entered a blog on the last Leap Day (Feb. 29, 2012).  Amazing. - it is my top read blog - "Four Hole Buick".

Technology Budget

I bought my first personal computer 34 years ago ( 1982 IBM PC) with an MX-100 Dot Matrix printer.  It was  a huge personal expenditure (over $1,500) but I justified it as a mandatory career development need for my career at Accenture.  That year I was promoted to Manager so the ROI worked. 

I began wondering today what the total amount I have personally spent on computers, expanded memory, hard drives, printers and supplies since that date.  This would be a challenging exercise for me to remember and estimate.  The number is even bigger if I include my family and any personal businesses. then add to that smartphones (which are computers) and now my Echo smart pen. 

I would say the cost of computers alone has exceeded $50,000. The cost of memory and hard drives would be $10,000.  The cost of printers $15,000.  The cost of supplies $10,000.  The smartphone, palm pilot, smart pens, tablets etc.  $5,000.  I'm sure I have missed some items or underestimated (cost of internet access, etc.).

So  - a conservative estimate would be $100K (without accounting for inflation and  investment opportunity loss.

What's the moral?   Budget BIG for you technology needs.   

Doubting Garen

One of the traits I acquired working with computers and for Accenture for 25 years was the ultimate skeptic - call me a Doubting Garen.

Several weeks ago I attended a fundraiser for UCAN where the Master of the Ceremonies (MC) passionately described their purpose: a world in which every cat and dog lives to find a loving home and every resident has access to affordable spay/neuter services

At the event the MC stated that "one female cat (that is not spayed) can produce over 425,000 kittens in seven years".  The crowd gasped.  Susan quickly helped me absorb this logic by saying it obviously included all the off spring.  But even with this quick logic check, I was disturbed by the number and unsettled (call it doubt) and wanted to test the underlying assumptions.

So off to the internet I went. 
First found a blog with a similar claim  and some simple assumptions:

http://laanimalshelter.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-many-litters-of-kittens-can-female.html
3 Litters per year

12-18 Kittens per litter

So I constructed my own spreadsheet and added some assumptions (e.g. number of females in each litter – 50%) and calculated 1,346,832.   Hmmm  something seemed very wrong now!  At that rate it would be worse than the plagues of God against the Pharaoh.  There must be some bad assumptions or logic.

Another search brought me to SNOPES -  ah yes the urban legend site that tries to keep the internet honest.

 “How many kittens in 7 years”  http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=15060

The SNOPES  answer is:  100 – 400

 I suspect this is too low based on the residual SNOPE comments about the University of Washington Math Department’s assumptions.  But I decided not to research further.  The key sensitive variable is survival rate to reproductive age.

 

What's the lesson?   Before you accept statistics (numbers) that are dramatic - check your facts.

 

So to practice what I preach -  my next blog will put more facts on the table about the 1.08% growth rate of Christians cited in the Jesus (the Mathematician) blog.

Loyalty Rewards

What defines loyalty?   U.S.A. companies search for the holy grail of brand loyalty in consumers to harvest a lifetime of purchases.  So I began thinking about what companies or products have I been loyal to for over twenty years (since 1996).  Sony, Cincinnati Bell, General Motors, Yahoo, Sams Club, Kroger, Allen Edmonds, Microsoft, Amazon, PNC Bank, Schwab, Verizon, Vanguard, Delta Air, Hertz, Marvel, Duke Energy, Accenture and a few food brands. 

Some of what defines loyalty is "first to market" as is the case with my bank, brokerage,  and wireless provider.  Those relationships are "sticky" and requires effort to change. Others becomes convenience (location/monopoly related), Microsoft, Kroger, Delta Air, etc.

There have been some loyalty tests for many in my list, but each company was able to survive the temporary dissatisfaction with appropriate customer service. 

Loyalty in human relationships (see "Earn a Friend"), or in groups (clubs, ideologies, religion, nationalism etc.) is quite different and not necessarily exclusionary.  Sometimes loyalty is misplaced as duty and recklessly followed to one's demise. 

Loyalty is best described as commitment. Commitment requires passion.  Sustainable passion means willing to forgive.  Loyalty takes time and tests but yields a lifetime of rewards.

 

Focus on Plan not Results

"Stick to the plan and let the results take care of themselves" was the instructor's advice in the Investools course that I signed Jenna up for.  Taken from the quote:  "I focus my total attention on trading well and let the results take care of themselves" by Tom Basso in his book "New Market Wizards". 

The mantra I remember at Accenture during my days of implementing manufacturing software (specifically the MRP module - Materials Requirements Planning) was the saying -  "Plan the work and Work the Plan (see blog  Sept. 30, 2010). 

The power of this advice is that the plan provides an objective way of stepping back from the pressure of deadlines and emotional stress about the results.  In trading, the emotions of volatility in stock prices can tempt a trader to react and ignore their rules (e.g. the plan).  That creates unfavorable results from the logic and strategy developed during the planning stage of investing.

Another way of justifying working the plan is that it preserves the investment of time you spent developing the plan in the first place.  If you are questioning results - look at the plan and spend the time thinking about why you change the plan first before taking action.

A constantly changing plan will drive constantly changing results.

Points of Nudging

Today was a walk down memory lane with a lunch with T.H. (an old Accenture alumni from Dallas).  The "chance" meeting occurred in a multivariable equation of relationship connections.

(1) Wednesday Tennis Group E.F introduces me to T.M.
(2) T.M moves into an office next to me
(3) A Saturday evening Crossroads service plants me one row behind T.M. in balcony one
(4) A spiritual discussion about the Braves Journey between T.M and me results in discussion each of our small group participants
(5) T.M mentions T.H. (an Accenture alumni) is in his group
(6) E.N (Miami Student) asked me if I knew T.H. when I was at Accenture
(7) T.M sets up a lunch between the three of us

I have come to believe that random coincidences are rare in this journey.  The mystery is understanding why they occur - which we will likely never answer.

 Is it a "master designer" with a plan already known?   Or a "master nudger" creating points of connection in an intelligent way of letting free will determine next steps?

Nudges occur for a reason. That's the point!

Strength in Weakness

S.M. gave a heart filled presentation on his personal history at our Vistage meeting.  The testimonial of some of his weaknesses showed how his character turned that same perceived weakness into a strength.  I remember G.G.'s (Accenture Chicago Partner) comment to me about the cruelty of kids when they see something they can use to taunt you into feeling different or weak.  This is especially true of minorities whose physical differences can not be hidden. But even without an easy target to use, kids will find something - height, intellect, glasses, attire as the means to get under your skin.

We all know what "buttons" of vulnerability we have (and some are self inflicted).  However,  how we respond to this vulnerability (e.g. fear) is what will determine our ability to cope.  Self esteem (not pride) is an important emotion to build.  

Acknowledging a weakness is a strength and the first step in building a foundation of self esteem.

Good Enough

At a SVP Cincinnati (Social Venture Partner) meeting with our Investee FNC (Family Nurturing Center), I misquoted an expression by saying that "Perfect is the enemy of Good Enough".  It was my way of saying it was time for action - taking the risk of doing something and making a mistake would get us closer (and quicker) to our objective than more planning and preparation.

Actually the quote was: "Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien"  Voltaire  - translated:  The Best is the Enemy of Good.

This came up last night in my discussion with Jenna about some of her life decisions - career, home, and financial management.  We all struggle with what consequences a decision today will make in our lives in the future (see blog entry 2/24/11 Alternate Paths). 

Yet, not making a decision today is by default choosing a path.  As a partner at Accenture once advised me - What further information do you further need to make the decision now?  Instead of spinning in scenarios, work on obtaining that information. 

No decision you make will ever be perfect (there is no such thing in this world as perfect).  So all you are trying to achieve is "Good Enough".

Think about it .....   Is where you are - today -   in your life ......  Good Enough?

So That

Last night, I attended the Social Venture Partners (SVP Cincinnati) training session titled "Meetings Suck".  Facilitated by Eric Peguro,  he provided one of the most useful techniques for effectiveness in meetings that I had ever seen (or heard of).  It came down to two words ..... "So That"

I had previously learned (and applied) the concept of being prepared for meetings at Accenture.  I would always ask myself (or the team) to define what we hoped to accomplish in the meeting and what would be the definition of success.  This technique came from the long tradition at Accenture  with written course objectives and learning expectations in every training module at St. Charles. This technique was also a standard requirement in designing system training materials for any installation.

So when Eric said the most critical element of effective meetings was written desired outcomes, I was nodding in agreement.  But he hit the "home run" with his definition of "proper" written outcomes:

(1) The outcome must be a noun (e.g.  document, agreement, understanding, etc.).  NO VERB ALLOWED!
(2)  Add the words  "SO THAT" after the outcome.  This will define the accomplishment expected.

Try it out.

A 3 month action plan .....   SO THAT .... everyone will see our goal and how they fit into the effort.

Eric had many more "jewels" of wisdom in meeting effectiveness making the evening a self help junkies delight.

Three/Four Word Conversational Volley

I introduced the most effective stroke in conversational tennis - the immediate volley.  I discovered this stroke during my training at Accenture.  Initially it was when I took a course on Socratic Selling Skills and learned the most important three words to get people to talk - "Tell me more".  Later during Accenture's training for recruiters in the CBI (Critical Behavior Interviewing) methodology of interviewing, I added many more three to four word immediate volleys:

(1) Tell me more.
(2) What did you do?
(3) How did you feel?
(4) What did you say?
(5) Take me there -
(6) How did you act?
(7) Where did you go?
(8) What was said?
(9) What was the result?
(10) What did you want?
(11) Describe it to me.
(12) Explain it to me.

You can easily design you own volley stroke - just remember keep it to 3-4 words that ask very personal details about the situation the person is describing.  Notice the word YOU and ME.  They are instrumental in constructing the volley.

When you get good the immediate volley, you will find plenty of time to prepare longer and smoother stroke in the conversational play.

Laugh, Think, Cry

Seemingly random connections can connect suddenly in life.  I was coaching Covington Partners in their three minute presentation at SVP Cincinnati Fast Pitch (coming Wednesday night).  I mentioned a presentation I remembered from Jim Valvano at the Cincinnati 100 event (sponsored by Arthur Andersen) back in the 90's.  One of the stories Jim related was about a benched player that given the chance turned a pivotal game to the win column.  The inspirational line was that at the end of the game the benched player related that his father (who was blind) had died the night before and that this would be the first time he would be able to see him play.

 

Amazingly in the Sunday evening fellowship J.B. referenced Jim Valvano also as we discussed how an individual can deal with suffering (Jim Valvano died at age 47 of cancer).  Jim's ESPY speech - "Don't give up .... Don't ever give up" still continues to be an inspiration to many people with cancer. 

In eleven minutes he is able to capture your attention and deliver on his three rules of living life to the fullest:

(1) Laugh - "You should laugh everyday"
(2) Think - "You should spend some time in thought"
(3) "You should have your Emotions moved to tears"

Sweeping Floors

Throughout my career and even recently, I have given advice on career planning to people.  Lately that has manifested itself through my weekly visits to Miami University where I act as recruiter in their Mock Interview program.  Over that last two months I have been giving parental advice to Jenna as she begins to plan her career anticipating her graduation from University of Cincinnati with a degree in Nursing.

Last night, Jenna was describing her career discussions with Tri-Health (which resulted from networking with J.P.).  The single biggest challenge of a career search is the issue of matching your ideal vision of a job with the available market and competitive landscape of other graduates.  This "dance" affects the emotional self esteem quotient, the balance of pros and cons of any job and/or company, and the fear of making an incorrect career choice.  All of this surrounds the single biggest unanswerable question that everyone of us has  - Why are we here?  What is my purpose in life?

This frozen quandary is only broken by seeking information, networking, researching, listening to your inner spirit - but finally with taking risk.  To help recruits out of analysis/paralysis, I remind them that this decision is just a "first job" decision - a foot in the door.

One of the toughest choices is whether to choose to pursue your "ideal" job function within any company, or choose to pursue the best company in your field.  I told Jenna that my career success was less about job function and more about selecting the best in the field (e.g. Accenture).  "I would prefer to sweep floors as a job in the best company, than to do what I want in the worst company."

Hold your Tongue

J.R. and I were reminiscing about the historic days at Accenture.  Different offices (Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland) had distinctively unique cultures before we combined them into an all Ohio practice (those were the days when Accenture was still organized geographically).  Yet the power of Accenture globally was the "one firm" concept and shared values across the globe.  The centralized training at St. Charles Ill. was instrumental in defining that standardization.  The interpersonal training that every employee received (in addition to the technical and functional training) help each of us as individuals improve our styles.

One of the most important things that I personally learned in both client relationship building, and selling is determining when to "hold your tongue".  Too often we want to communicate our personal agenda, knowledge, and advice only to discover it is not desired, needed or even necessary.  Knowing your audience is critical to understanding when they will really listen to you and understand the point you are delivering.  This becomes critical in both presentations and even one on one discussion.

It is so tempting to want to redirect a conversation to something YOU want to say (or hear yourself saying) that has little to do with the objective of your conversation.  Being able to step back, hold your tongue (and even the thoughts) is a discipline that can be the difference between a yes and a no.

http://smartsayingsfortoday.wordpress.com/2010/08/08/would-you-receive-the-%E2%80%9Cgreatest-comeback%E2%80%9D-award/

Blankets or Chains of Tradition

Last night was the "traditional" gathering of J.R. and K.M at a Reds game.  This year we switched from the weekday afternoon game tradition to an evening event.  It all started fourteen years ago (when we were worked at Accenture) when J.R. offered up tickets one evening and I pressured K.M. into joining us.  So it was fitting that we "honored" the original genesis of the tradition by duplicating an evening venue.

Traditions can emerge innocently after one notices a consistent pattern each year, or they can be deliberate (like  scheduling one Reds game each year  or our March Madness lunches) based on an event or key annual activity.  How many years or repetitiveness is necessary to call an activity a "tradition".  I think somewhere between five and ten years of consecutive occurrences begins to qualify the occasion as "tradition".   

Sports events can generate the regularity and comfortable common platform that fits well with establishing a tradition.  Hence the excitement of tailgating, and congregating with friends at games.  Holidays and family gatherings almost automatically are considered "traditions".

The Tennis Tournament here in Cincinnati was a tradition in my life for over 30 years. Last week I didn't attend even one match and only watched the first set of the Nadal/Isner final on TV.  Somehow that tradition had worn its way out.  The extra cost of the box seats helped me see the "chains" of that tradition and created a cost/value equation to its benefit.

Traditions create a sense of security and joy - like a blanket and yet can turn into "chains" of duty and boring habit.  Ascertaining the difference is what counts.  Breaking traditions is hard to do.

Running Around

"Before I begin, a note of warning: the topic we are about to explore may not be suitable for our young listeners (or readers)."   Standard NPR content advisory

As I was telling S.S. the story about "Pets or Meat" and the demise of the rabbit with a club -- he winched.  "Ooooh, that makes the meat tough". 

"What" ...    did you say?

"Well you have to kill the rabbit in the proper way for the most tender meat result"  S.S. said matter-of-factly.

"And how do you do that?"

"Well you slit the throat." he replied.

Clearly, I am just a city slicker and have had no experience in this area.  I do remember the option to see the slaughter of hogs at my old client Hillshire Farms and Kahns during my Accenture career.  I decided to avoid their normal tour of this part of the processing facility (purposely scheduled just before lunch) for all the faint of heart (and Accenture consultants in three piece suits).  However for my staff that wanted to see this (R.T.) the procedure was quick and simple.  Hang the Hog by the hoof; slit and let drain.

This whole discussion reminded me of Mom's story about harvesting turkeys at Thanksgiving.  Chopping the head off and the ensuing scene of the bird running around - headless.   Hence the expression:

"Running around like a chicken with it's head chopped off."

Vegetarians use a different expression - "Running around like a bunny in heat"   - "Pets or Tofu"  :)