Who Goes First?

The Wed. 7:15BC mens bible study group are concluding a study on Forgiveness using Fr. Thomas Berg and Dr. Timothy Lock's book "Choosing Forgiveness - Unleash the Power of God's Grace".  The book was excellent but the implementation is challenging.  As we learned together with the Made4More videos during Armstrong's Supercharge 2026 and subsequent small group study - the power comes with "WHO GOES FIRST?".  

The book stimuilated me to construct a Copilot assisted PowerPoint visual of Divine Forgiveness and Reconciliation.  I continue to be amazed at how AI increases my productivity, creativity, and skills.

 

One insight that I personally discovered in this study is the need to separate the offense ( or the wound) from the offender.  God hates sin (the offense) but still loves the Offender.  Only when the Wounded sees the divine forgiveness that God provides the Offender can he/she begin the process of healing and softening the heart with God's power.  

Still this is easier to display, intellectualize, and discuss - much harder to emotionally and prayerfully accomplish.  

One thing is for certain - GOD always goes FIRST!

Trust but Verify

Find people that can make you laugh and enjoy their company.  P.N. called today and we exchanged jokes, teasing and wit.  When he asked me what I thought about the MOU with Iran, I hedged by stating that with 47 years of distrust how can anything on paper be certain.  

P.N. agreed and said one of his friends felt the Iran war was like a marriage - no rules :)  

 

I added to the humor reflecting how so many marriages involve cheating also.  Most marriages also have a mutually assured destruction capability - the red button nuclear option.  We all know which button to push at anytime.

Attempting a shot at positivity, we both agreed that a best practice in any marriage is "trust but verify".  That is probably the best chance at a peaceful resolution of this conflict.

For Give - Fore Gift

 "The mind repeats what the heart can't delete" was the comment of B.S. this morning in our beginning study of "Choosing Forgiveness" by Fr. Thomas Berg and Dr. Timothy Lock.  A.S. did a great job of facilitating and mentioned another book that would be worthy of reading "Forgive Everyone Everything" by Greg Boyle.

Our Wed. 7:15BC group will explore the "bondage of unforgiveness" and "the pathway to healing, peace, and interior freedom. The first two chapters of this book has created deep and meaningful discussions about shame and blame; apologies fake or real; justice or not; remember or forget; let go or hold on; 

My insight was around the "gray areas of truth".  In many hurting circumstances --- There is my story, There is your story and then There is the real (true) story.  Especially those difficult spousal interactions with stressful emotional interactions that seem stuck in a dead end. How to get "unstuck"? That's the toughest part of forgiveness. Who goes first?

Maybe the act of going first is practicing God's gift of grace.   It takes a fore gift to forgive.

Three Reading Amigos

Mini Book Club met today.  P.N. and R.M.2. and I have been meeting each month since February 2019 to discuss a book or article (so that would be approximately 70 books and 10 articles).  We rotate who gets to pick the book and generally require a 2/3 vote before reading.  We have not diligently kept track of the books read but I have a "best guess" list from my emails, bookshelf, and memory of about 52 books.  

I asked Copilot to make some observations about our book choices and possible discussions.

(1)   Heavy emphasis on meaning, purpose and faith - These guys are not just reading for entertainment - they're trying to wrestle with big life questions

(2) Strong preference for "idea books" over narrative fiction - They prioritize ideas over storytelling

(3) Interest in ethics, morality, and human behavior - They are interested in what makes people good or bad and how we should live.

(4) Blend of "serious classics" and accessible modern books

(5) Recurring authors/ideological familiarity  - They revisit authors they trust and stay within a philosophical "comfort band"

(6) Science curiosity - but philosophical, not technical - What does science say about reality, meaning and God?

(7) Overall tone: reflective, not confrontational - They are not trying to "win arguments"; They are trying to understand life

The normalized groupings fall into seven categories/themes

(1) Religion/Spirituality/Theology  - 22 Books

(2) Philosophy & Ethics  - 8 Books

(3) Psychology/Human Behavior - 7 Books

(4) Science/Physics/Big History - 7 Books

(5) Memoir/Personal Development - 7 Books

(6) Futurism/Society/Systems - 1 Book

(7) Fiction - 1 Book

Heaven Board #18 Turtles all the way down

 I was sitting at the Bar in Paxton's Grill (Loveland) having lunch with J.R. and overheard a country song playing in the background.  "What a great song", I said to J.R. as we sat there.  Luckily, I have enabled the "Now Playing" feature of my Pixel 6a Android Phone and saw "Turtles all the way Down" by Sturgill Simpson.  

As you may (or may not) know I am a "melody guy" (vs lyrics) - see "Melody vs Lyrics".  So as soon as I got home I decided to look up the lyrics to determine was there subconsciously another reason (other than the melody, instrumentals, cadence or harmony) that the song appealed to me at the moment.

There must have been 3-5 God winks going on. Enough to make this Heaven Board #18! 

 #1 "But I swear that God is there every time I glare into the eyes of my best friend"

#2 "Love's the only thing that every saved my life".    

#3 "Turtles all the way Down" with infinite regress of the mythology of a World Turtle.

Wikipedia - Turtles all the way Down

#4 The spiritual/mystic or medical mystery of psilocybin and DMT?  

#5 The second nudge phone call from S.F. for joining the Men's Walk to Emmaus #112 while I was constructing this blog

#6 Re-Reading from 2010 "The Six Secrets you must Discover before you Die" by John Izzo  "Be Love"!

I enjoy going down the research "rabbit hole" (as R.M.2 described it) and found the 10 year anniversary commentary by Simpson and Uhelski about the song and video from 2014.  

"To appease lazy music journalists, I've always said this song was about drugs.  It actually came from recreational reading "DMT: The Spirit Molecule" by Rick Strassman and the Omega Point Theory by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.  The video has absolutely nothing to do with the song, which doesn't matter since nobody really ever knew what the song was about.  It's just four guys pretending to play with Electric Sheep Screensaver graphics overlaid on the performance"   Sturgill Simpson

Here are the complete lyrics:

Turtles All the Way Down

Song by

Sturgill Simpson

Introducing "Metamodern Sounds in Country Music"

I've seen Jesus play with flames in a lake of fire that I was standing in
Met the devil in Seattle and spent 9 months inside the lions' den
Met Buddha yet another time
He showed me a glowing light within
But I swear that God is there
Every time I glare into the eyes of my best friend

Says my son, it's all been done
Someday you're gonna wake up old and gray
So go and try to have some fun showing warmth to everyone
You meet and greet and cheat along the way

There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light cut you open and pull out all your pain
Tell me how you make illegal something that we all make in our brain
Some say you might go crazy
Then again, it might make you go sane

Every time I take a look inside inside that old and fabled book
I'm blinded and reminded of the pain caused by some old man in the sky
Marijuana, LSD, psilocybin, and DMT, they all changed the way I see
Love's the only thing that ever saved my life

So don't waste your mind on nursery rhymes
And fairy tales of blood and wine
It's turtles all the way down the line
So to each their own 'til we go home
To other realms our souls must roam
To and through the myth that we all call space and time

Virtual Castaway

At 3pm yesterday my mental alarm clock and calendar went off.  I had totally "spaced out" a Zoom meeting that I was to lead at 7pm.   The Shelter in Place has put my life and routine in the Twilight Zone.  I can even remember how many days I have been isolated as a castaway.  Like a prisoner, maybe I should start a daily hash mark on the wall. I started distancing in my office March 9 but transferred to home shelter in place March 24 and haven't been outside my neighborhood more than three times. 

The debate continues about death rates, proper ways to resume business, who's to blame, immediate health risks, and the extent of long term emotional, physical and financial damage. Pressure is building on all fronts.

Call it a "sick" bet but I finally bet a lunch with P.N. on the mortality percentage of estimated COVID-19 infections on November 4th (the day of elections).  This crisis has put a great emphasis on death - an inevitable result for all of us.  Naturally the human instinct is to extend life as long as feasible, and our compassion is demonstrated in our attempts to curtail premature death in others. 

Of the 57million deaths worldwide 54% can be attributed to the top 10 causes: 

Based on this chart - 3 million are lower respiratory infections (Influenza; pneumonia).   Also this chart varies dramatically based on developed countries and undeveloped countries.

The macro view of humanity is to understand how to allocate economic resources to slow the rate of death for the greatest number of individuals (a utilitarian philosophy).   However, the individual personal decision comes down to the selfish motive of extending your life with family and friends.  

The tragedy of this crisis is the inability to be near those you love who are dying. No one wants to die alone!   As virtual castaways, how can we be near those we love who are dying?  -  only one way.  The same way to extend life beyond this world.

TGIF

For Wall Street Investors the adage "Thank God It's Friday" may be an understatement.  As I write this blog at 3:06 EST the DJIA has dropped 16% for the week, 33% for the month.  The market drop is better defined now as contagion - the combination of emotional fear from the economic impact of lockdowns with the Saudi/Russia Oil fight, and a sprinkle of political uncertainty. 

In this environment - cash is king, physical supplies is queen.  This is my second day locked down at the house.  Taking a walk in the neighborhood, it felt like grand central station - cars, people walking, children playing outside, even an Indian Hill Ranger patrolling and stopping to say hello.  Of course it helps that it was a sunny day with temperatures in the 50's.

Ellen cooked some brownies, Jenna was outside playing fetch with her dog Wally, Paul was working making client phone calls, and Susan attempting to collect receivables for her clients.  I sat transfixed on the red and green ups and downs of individual stocks while listening to the gloom and doom of CNBC.

Will the pressure cooker of this week's activity continue to build over the weekend?  With little routine outlets available for weekend decompression, everyone will be trying to find new activities and ways to fill their time.  What a great opportunity to re-evaluate how we spend our time together and what we can do to be emotionally supportive of each other. Like the feeling of being snowed in during a winter storm, we can practice ways to create calm and peace.  Here are some ideas:

(1) Turn off the media
(2) Read a book
(3) How about a puzzle; or art; or a family game
(4) Take a walk outside in the neighborhood
(5) Do one of those home organization projects you have put off indefinitely

Take the time to appreciate your home and feeling safe at home.

Rules of Life

It was my 13th Spotlight for Vistage (10/17/2019) and I decided the theme would be "Rules of Life".  Inspired by my original thought to have a mathematical equation depicting each rule, instead I performed an audible and had each Vistage member provide their own "Rule of Life".  Stay tuned for a blog about each of those rules once I have interviewed them and got the story behind their rule.

Not willing to give up on my original idea, I did present one equation (a rule of life)  that I hope I have passed on to my girls. 

I have already blogged about this magical equation - the power of compounding principle.  The Urban Myths that Einstein said this principle was the eighth wonder of the world, or the most powerful force in the universe is worth spreading.  I've already blogged about this with graphs included:

Mysterious Compounding and Powers - Growth or Patience  (4/15 &16 2012)

J.D. quipped - "Just like you Garen to make a Rule of Life totally financial".  "No"  I replied.   Delivering an act of kindness or one of your character principles to influence someone else can also compound.  Just change the variables:

P= What principles are you delivering to influence people in your life?
r = What ROL (Return on Life) are you using to grow those principles in others (e.g. what % of the people that you touch receive your gift)
n = How often are you being deliberate about your influence - yearly, quarterly, monthly, daily or continuously
t= Over what time period are you doing this and how much time do you have left?

In a providential way, I happened upon the book "Make your Bed" by Admiral William H. McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired) and discovered it's origin from his May 17, 2014 University of Texas Commencement Speech.  He said what I've always felt about the power of giving to others and changing one individual at a time - in less than 300 words:

"The University's slogan is 'What starts here changes the world". I have to admit, I kind of like it. "What starts here changes the world!"

Tonight there are almost eight thousand students graduating from the University of Texas.  That great paragon of analytical rigor, Ask.com, says that the average American will meet ten thousand people in their lifetime.  That's a lot of folks.  But, if every one of you changed the lives of just ten people, and each one of those folks changed the lives of another ten people - just ten - then in five generations - 125 years - the class of 2014 will have changed the lives of 800 million people. 

EIGHT HUNDRED MILLION people. Think of  it: over twice the population  of the United States.  Go one more generation and you can change the entire population of the world, eight billion people.  If you think it's hard to change the lives of ten people, change their lives forever, you're wrong.

I saw it happen every day in Iraq and Afghanistan.  A young Army officer makes a decision to go left instead of right down a road in Baghdad and the ten soldiers in his squad are saved from a close-in-ambush.

In Kandahar province, Afghanistan, a non-commissioned officer from the Female Engagement Tam senses something isn't right and directs the infantry  platoon away from a five-hundred-pound IED, saving the lives of a dozen soldiers.

But, if you think about it, not only were these soldiers saved by the decisions of one person, but their children yet unborn were also saved. And their children's children were saved.  Generations were saved by one decision, by one person.

But changing the world can happen anywhere, and anyone can do it.  So, what starts here can indeed change the world, but the question is: What will the world look like after you change it?

There's a spiritual message embedded deep inside this mysterious principle of compounding.  Maybe Einstein really did think this was the most powerful force in the universe. What is behind this mysterious powerful principle - who created it and for what purpose?   It is worth spreading - Belief in our Creator, his infinite love, and his gift of salvation.

Miami University Partial Eclipse

Forty Five years ago, I was preparing for the life event of starting college at Miami University (Oxford, Ohio).  The first day on campus was actually Wednesday, Sept. 15, 1972.  If you looked at my office today you would think that I had created a shrine to Miami. 

My memories of Miami are again flooding in (no pun intended given Harvey and Irma disasters) because of continuing the tradition of writing weekly letters (yes snail mail technology) to Ellen who is now enrolled at University of Cincinnati - the DARK SIDE :)

I started this letter tradition (Monday Miami Memories) with Jenna, when she initially enrolled and began attending Miami University eight years ago. Jenna also was tempted to the DARK SIDE and graduated from U.C. in 2013. 

These letters are full of Miami University trivia, nostalgic memories of the good, the bad and the ugly, but most importantly it described the relationships that I developed that were life long with college friends. Coincidentally, I got to reconnect with two of those friends, Brian M. and Andy C. this summer (should have been my July 21, 2017 blog entry) when they both happened to appear in Cincinnati at the same moment (call that an early Miami  {Partial Eclipse). 

Source:  Andy C's Phone and Facebook Post

With Rich missing - there was no chance for a Bridge rivalry, however I think there will be a future reunion in the making.  Now all of us retired - there should be no excuse.

Boston Legal #11

Last night was the eleventh "Boston Legal" evening hosted by KC.  Chops, Cigars and Cinema.  The movie choice was a 1993 Robert Duvall classic "Wrestling Ernest Hemingway".  It was the most appropriate choice given the past history of viewings about life, mission, character and the journey. 

Duvall's character, Walter, reminded me of my barber Fausto Ferrari (see Blog entry "Same" 4/6/10). I've missed getting my haircut from him for the past six months and pray that he is doing ok. 

The real message of the evening was what will the three of us be like as septuagenarians?  This movie was littered with great old guy quotes.  My favorite:

Walter:  "You have to pee too?

Frank: "I'm 75 years old.  I always have to pee."     -----   Feed the fish :) 

Heaven Board #13

Memorial weekend is now booked forever in my memories with the wedding of Jenna and Paul (5/27/17).  What a wonderful event fully planned and implemented by Susan.  Not to overshadow the Friday night graduation of Ellen (5/26/17).  This will definitely be a milestone year.  Even two of my nieces gave birth to two new children this year.

There are endless stories that this weekend generated (and maybe future blogs).  However, my moment of tears happened during the soloist singing of the Lord's Prayer at the end of the church service.  Her voice filled Hyde Park United Methodist Church in a way that everyone was stunned to silence in an awestruck moment of reflection .  Jenna purposely broke the silence to clap and a tidal wave of appreciation filled the church.  It was exclamation of the holy moment of matrimony and the heavenly AMEN!

Well -  this qualifies for another Heaven Board #13 -  Holy Memorial Matrimony

Boston Legal #8

It was my turn to host what has become a fun summer tradition that came about rather spontaneously. It was a GOLDEN SESSION.

There are just times the guys need to convene independently and without female supervision or oversight.  I justified this principal in two ways - first citing Brian Tome's recent book "Five Marks of a Man" and C.S. Lewis's excerpt from "Four Loves".

Long before history began we men have got together apart from the women and done things. We had to.  And to like doing what must be done is a characteristic that has survival value.  We not only had to do the things, we had to talk about them.  We had to  plan the hunt and the battle.  When they were over we had to hold a post mortem and draw conclusions for future use.  We liked this even better.  We ridiculed or punished the cowards and bunglers, we praised the star-performers.  We reveled in technicalities.  In fact, we talked shop.  We enjoyed one another's society greatly: we Braves, we hunters, all bound together by shared skill, shared dangers and hardships, esoteric jokes ---away from the women and children.

What were the women doing meanwhile?  How should I know?  I am a man and never spied on the mysteries of the Bona Dea.  They certainly often had rituals from which men were excluded. ......

This pleasure in co-operation, in talking shop, in mutual respect and understanding of men who daily see one another tested, is biologically valuable.  You may, if you like, regard it as a product of the gregarious instinct... something which is going on at this moment in dozens of ward-rooms, bar-rooms, common-rooms, messes and golf clubs.  I prefer to call it Companionship --- or Clubbableness.

In a perfect Friendship.... each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before the rest.  Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters.  He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company.  Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others.  THOSE ARE THE GOLDEN SESSIONS; when four or five of us after a hard day's walking have come to our inn; when our slippers are on, our feet spread out towards the blaze and our drinks at our elbows; when the whole world, and something beyond the world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim on or any responsibility for another, but all are Freemen and Equals as if we had first met an hour ago,  while at the same time an Affection mellowed by the years enfolds us.  Life ---- natural life --- has no better gift to give.  Who could have deserved it?

 

Whether it's Wednesday Guys Tennis, SVP Cincinnati Guys Appendix club, AC Alumni Partner, Friday Morning Men's Bible Study, or Men's Movie night (e.g. War Movies), Vistage (mainly the guys), we Braves can mark ourselves as MEN not BOYS!

 

Asking for it

It was a great lunch today with A.M. and B.J. full of laughter and random talk.  I asked B.J. what one question could he provide for my "friendship test" - a test to determine a good friend.  "A person that still puts up with you despite your garrulous nature."

Wow -  that put my vocabulary wheels in motion.  I could try to infer a definition based on the wit and teasing the three of us use in our bantering discussions.  But what does garrulous really mean?



http://www.vocabahead.com/GRESATVocabularyVideos/TabId/59/VideoId/215/Garrulous.aspx

 

1. excessively talkative in a rambling, roundabout manner, especially about trivial matters.

2. wordy or diffuse: a garrulous and boring speech


Wow -  Was I asking for it :)
 
P.S.  This vocabulary site www.vocabahead.com is great.  What a fun way to learn and remember new words!

 

 

Netweaving vs Networking

At the January Vistage meeting R.R. said this year he is working on better Netweaving vs Networking.  What a better term for Introverts - as Networking is definitely WORK  for their personality type and to WEAVE sounds just like an introvert activity. 

I found a site with the title (and maybe the author of the term) www.netweaving.com - Netweaving International.  Based on the belief in the law of reciprocity, a Netweaver gives first in order to receive.  Rather than looking for ways or people (prospects) to help themselves, Netweavers are living the Golden Rule by helping others first. 

Bloggers Resolution - De ja vu

So -  A dismal 2015 performance on blogging (see Bloggers Resolution 2015) is a public display of my failure in New Years Resolutions (specifically the number of blogging entries for 2015).  So for even more public accountability and resolution delivery risk, I have listed my 2016 goals:

(1) At least double (minimum of 114 entries) the 57 entries from 2015 blog (note my most prolific year was 2010 (259)
(2)  Improve my technology organization.  With six different devices (not including my 2 dormant laptops on my office desk), I need to get my email organized and synchronized.  This may be the year of the cloud.
(3)  Follow through with SVP Cincinnati Full Throttle membership drive.
(4)  Better monitoring and financial control over Real Estate Investments
(5) At least double entries in my "Daily 5 Grateful Journal" (from 2015 performance)
(6) Solo time with Ellen (J.H. Ranch diaries)
(7) Weight -  yes an actual New Year goal  - of 185
(8) Physical Exercise -  Weekly Tennis and Daily Walks
(9) Financial returns - exceed the S&P 500
(10) Modify and Update Giving Strategic Plan
(11) Continue Relationship traditions
(12) Readdress Project list -  Ancestry.com; Reel to Reel digitize; My Dad gift from Jenna; Collections; Book Inventory; Decade reflections;
(13) Set Health Goals - eyes, ears (yes I'm getting old)


That's enough  for now.  I'm sure there are more I could invent. What's the old adage - "Plan the work, work the Plan";  "You only get what you measure";

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
― Albert Einstein

But what about goals that include people and things :)

Loyalty Rewards

What defines loyalty?   U.S.A. companies search for the holy grail of brand loyalty in consumers to harvest a lifetime of purchases.  So I began thinking about what companies or products have I been loyal to for over twenty years (since 1996).  Sony, Cincinnati Bell, General Motors, Yahoo, Sams Club, Kroger, Allen Edmonds, Microsoft, Amazon, PNC Bank, Schwab, Verizon, Vanguard, Delta Air, Hertz, Marvel, Duke Energy, Accenture and a few food brands. 

Some of what defines loyalty is "first to market" as is the case with my bank, brokerage,  and wireless provider.  Those relationships are "sticky" and requires effort to change. Others becomes convenience (location/monopoly related), Microsoft, Kroger, Delta Air, etc.

There have been some loyalty tests for many in my list, but each company was able to survive the temporary dissatisfaction with appropriate customer service. 

Loyalty in human relationships (see "Earn a Friend"), or in groups (clubs, ideologies, religion, nationalism etc.) is quite different and not necessarily exclusionary.  Sometimes loyalty is misplaced as duty and recklessly followed to one's demise. 

Loyalty is best described as commitment. Commitment requires passion.  Sustainable passion means willing to forgive.  Loyalty takes time and tests but yields a lifetime of rewards.

 

Truth or Consequences

I don't typically like to redundantly blog about a recent news article - but I couldn't resist propagating and virally duplicating the points of Michael Ledeen in his May 17th WSJ commentary "Bridge - Not Chess is the Ultimate War Game".  Mom and Dad taught me card sense (although I think card sense is a DNA gene), and the game of Bridge.  The real teacher I had was Rich M. (my college buddy) who was a top ranked chess player also. 

Michael Ledeen's observation about player feints is exactly why I love the game:

"Frequently a player will have to decide whether he would rather tell the truth to his partner (thereby informing his opponents) or deceive the enemy (thus running the risk of seriously fooling his ally across the table).    Nothing like this exists in even the greatest board games. They permit some feints, to be sure, but not outright lies. Great bridge players are great liars—as are brilliant military leaders and diplomats and politicians."

Luckily Rich M. put up with my lies that I claimed were true and legitimate "Goren" methods of playing.  Our friendship was sealed when I declared that our Bridge partnership was officially over in a dispute over an exception to the Blackwood convention after a cue bid of an ace.   Reflecting back - it was my error but Rich was the bigger Bridge partner to apologize. 

Source: http://www.zazzle.com/bridge+game+cards

 

Now S.S. is my regular Bridge partner and he gives me great "Bridge Mercy" also in my lies (or convention ignorance).  When asked by opponents what my bid means he always responds - "I have no clue".   It supports what I have put on my convention card under Special Conventions:  "Don't trust anything this guy says .... he is a Cowboy bidder:  :)  "

A Bridge game is quite a intriguing practice of ethical paradoxes.  Every bid and play of the hand is a choice of Truth or Consequences. 

Mixed Marriages

The Saturday Wall Street Journal had a humorous article about Mixed Marriages - Political ones :) 

WSJ - "Sorry Mom, I Married a Democrat"  6/21/14

It was timely since Susan and I were honored to attend J.P.'s wedding.  Naturally, I was questioning the family backgrounds (especially when I discovered the Columbus Accenture Partner J.W. that was related to the wedding party groom).  And after listening to The Modern Scholar audible series by Betty Dexter Dryer "The Basics of Genetics", and subscribing to Ancestry.com, I have been fascinated with family trees and lineage. 

Where do we get our religious and political points of view?   Nature or Nurture?

Wikopedia describes exogamy benefits as individuals who breed with more exotic partners and thereby avoid incestuous relationships and tend to have healthier offspring due to the benefits of Heterosis. 

That reminds me of the Andy Rooney short piece on the TV show "60 minutes" -   "A" people are destined to marry "Z" people.

"A" people carefully squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube  ...... Z people .......
"A" people are early risers ......  Z people .......

You get the idea.  Now go out an mix it up!  :)

Deep Conversational Strokes

Conversations strokes (like your tennis strokes) can be short and simple or deep and long.  If you conversation is shallow your relationship with the person you are talking to will likely return shallow or non existent volleys.  The deeper your conversation will create an opportunity for more enriching "conversational play". 

For those people you love the most, practicing deep conversational strokes will provide you a more satisfying and pleasurable conversation.  There are risks in hitting a tennis stroke deep - it could go "out of bounds" or be interpreted as a ball not to be returned.  However, in most cases your conversational player will see the effort you are putting into your stroke and attempt to return it deep also.

Here is a deep volley question:  "What made you feel good about yourself today?"   Notice how it is an open ended question; it is very personal; it is positive; it indicates a sincere desire to learn more about the feelings of others.

I suggest you try some "deep volleys" first with your spouse, parents, brothers and sisters and then "graduate" to best friends (caution is warranted here - be sure you know what a best friend is). 

Remember, hitting it deep means more challenging returns - but a more enriching game.

Credit for this entry idea:   Six Questions that will save your relationships  by MarcandAngel.com
I suggest you watch the video that they put together on their blog site.

Cats in the Cradle

One of the keys to interacting with Cat people is to keep the focus narrow.  Too much stimulus will overwhelm a Cat - which applies to choices, number of people, noise levels, etc.  Think of it like the Cats Cradle game - the game with two people focused on exchanging turns in methodically pulling the string into a new formation.

Keep the movements simple, consistent, and predictable.  There are a finite number of moves (i.e. choices) and expected results. 

When a Cat person is focused on a result, then they can tune out some of the more troublesome distractions that can "spook" them.

The Cat's in the Cradle is the Dog's silver spoon. :)