Hold your Tongue

J.R. and I were reminiscing about the historic days at Accenture.  Different offices (Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland) had distinctively unique cultures before we combined them into an all Ohio practice (those were the days when Accenture was still organized geographically).  Yet the power of Accenture globally was the "one firm" concept and shared values across the globe.  The centralized training at St. Charles Ill. was instrumental in defining that standardization.  The interpersonal training that every employee received (in addition to the technical and functional training) help each of us as individuals improve our styles.

One of the most important things that I personally learned in both client relationship building, and selling is determining when to "hold your tongue".  Too often we want to communicate our personal agenda, knowledge, and advice only to discover it is not desired, needed or even necessary.  Knowing your audience is critical to understanding when they will really listen to you and understand the point you are delivering.  This becomes critical in both presentations and even one on one discussion.

It is so tempting to want to redirect a conversation to something YOU want to say (or hear yourself saying) that has little to do with the objective of your conversation.  Being able to step back, hold your tongue (and even the thoughts) is a discipline that can be the difference between a yes and a no.

http://smartsayingsfortoday.wordpress.com/2010/08/08/would-you-receive-the-%E2%80%9Cgreatest-comeback%E2%80%9D-award/

Preaching Hypocrisy

I blurted out "We are all hypocrites" in the debate with J.P. last night.  "I agree with that", J.P. replied.  He then added "Hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays to virtue."  This is actually a quote from François de La Rochefoucauld a noted French author of maxims and memoirs.  He was a pithy 17th century blogger/tweeter with his five hundred and four  moral maxims - one liners. 

Maxim 218 : L'hypocrisie est un hommage que le vice rend à la vertu.

• Hypocrisy is an homage that vice pays to virtue.

Hypocrisy is commonly thought of not practicing what you preach.  But this is not the true sense of a Hypocrite.  If a person  doesn't attempt to hide or deceive you into thinking that he does practice what he preaches then he would not be a hypocrite.  He would instead be the person who states "Do what I say, not what I do".  

Maybe that is the definition of a preacher. :) 

YOU - First or Last

Whenever the word "YOU" begins your statement ---- be careful.   There are just some words and phrases that should not be uttered.  Examples:

"YOU ought to ...........

"YOU should ............

"YOU are ..............

"I told YOU so"   (this one has a bonus -  the selfish word "I" combined with the declarative "YOU")

The reality is that none of us wants to be told what to do; what we are; or what we did wrong.  The ability to give advice in a positive constructive way is a gift. The best advice comes in form of a question .... 

"Have YOU considered .......

"What would YOU do if .....

"How do YOU feel about ......

and if your advice was not taken (e.g. I told you so)  ---

It's not about being right ..... it's about rightly being.


So - consider ending your statements with YOU instead of beginning them with YOU.

THANK YOU!   I MISS YOU!  I LOVE YOU!

Clothes Line

We all have troubles, problems and stresses.  Coming to peace with those emotional bumps is one of the secrets of maintaining your
 health.  There are many techniques each individual uses to cope:

(1) Give yourself time to vent (yes you are allowed)
(2) Use Gratitude and counting blessings to neutralize the negatives
(3) Exercise
(4) Focus on helping others (redirect the thoughts)
(5) Take action (small steps) to solve the problem (Just do it)
(6) Write down the problem (journaling)
(7) Seek social support (find a good listener)
(8) Laugh
(9) Put your problems in perspective

From:  http://inspirationclothesline.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html

 

 

 

"If I took all my problems and hung them on the clothes line and if my neighbors did the same .....  I would keep mine"

Inside Lock

In "What's so Great about Christianity, there is a reference to Hell - where God is eternally absent. Dinesh D'Souza states that the atheist rejects God and reluctantly God grants him his wish. "In a sense the gates of hell are locked from the inside."  The atheist locks God out from inside seemingly unable to leave.

G.S. (from Sunday Fellowship Small Group) quickly spoke up "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." from the Eagles song Hotel California.  That song has had numerous interpretations and the writers have purposely been vague about it's origin other than the excesses of the music industry. Freely entering the pleasure dome ("This could be Heaven or this could be Hell") can result in an inability to leave it behind ("but you can never leave").   

Inside locks (usually dead bolts) are designed for an individual to be able to leave - but requires action.  But for every inside lock there is a outside perspective looking in.  A person knocking at the door awaiting your response.  But it takes a key (or action of unlocking) to open the door. 

Find the key. Check out. You can leave. Heaven can't wait.

"Light of the World" by William Holman Hunt  St. Paul's Cathedral London

PS.  No locks on this door. The door in the painting has no handle, and therefore can only be opened from the inside, representing the "Obstinately shut mind".  See Wikipedia : Light of the World

Ends and Means

The adage "The Ends justify the Means" is constantly a battle in philosophical war.  J.P. and I have discussed at length the issue of Kantian Philosophy and Individual Freedom.  The conclusion of the Kant's "categorical imperative" and the moral impact that individuals are ends in themselves and should never be used as means to an end, creates a battlefield with philosophical paradoxes and moral dilemmas.

Quickly the philosophical camps divide between the "Ends" group and the "Means" group with the moral battlefield in the middle of the ring. 



My viewpoint:

"Pay attention to YOUR ENDS, and don't worry about the others who are MEAN"

A Deuce

J.R. remembered his Dad's observation when describing the "bottom of the pack":  "Well ....... there's no card lower than a deuce".  This fits the context since in talking about people we sometimes refer to strange behavior as "He's a card" or even that deuce comes close to the word dunce.

However this expression is turned upside down in the Video poker game of "Deuces Wild" (a favorite way to gamble for Wayne). 

So which is it?  "He's a card"?   or   "He's a wild card"?