It was a wonderful evening with J&D P. and K&N C. to celebrate a birthday age milestone (you'll have to guess the milestone age). It has been a wonderful 15+ years of interacting with two other couples.
We used the book "Do you know your Wife" to honor the birthday girl. The book was rotated to each person who would attempt to answer a question about N.C. It was a fun exercise in discovering new facts about not only N.C - but everyone at the table.
After the scoring was complete, I handed out a 1939 Husband and Wife Test (by Dr. George Crane) which created plenty of banter and laughter. Complete with demerits and merits, it was a reminder that the goal in a relationship is to understand YOUR "job".
As Clayton Christensen says in his book "How will you measure your Life":
"It's natural to want the people you love to be happy. What can often be difficult is understanding what your role is in that. Thinking about your relationship from the perspective of the JOB TO BE DONE is the best way to understand what's important to the people who mean the most to you. It allows you to develop true empathy. Asking yourself 'What job does my spouse most need me to do?' gives you the ability to think about it in the right unit of analysis. When you apporach your relationships from this perspective, the answers will become much more clear than they would by simply speculating about what might be the right thing to do. But you have to go beyond understanding WHAT JOB YOUR SPOUSE NEEDS YOU TO DO. You have to DO THAT JOB. You'll have to devote your time and energy to the effort, be willing to suppress your own priorities and desires, and focus on doing what is required to MAKE THE OTHER PERSON HAPPY. "
So I changed the wording in the scoring of the Husband and Wife Test - 0 to 24 points from "very poor" to:
PS - Remember again - "Happy Wife - Happy Life" Don't get fired :)