Caaddywampus

So A.M.  mentioned at lunch (while sitting outside) the umbrella was caddywampus. WHAT? That was a new one on me. I thought it was whopperjawed. But Arthur was right - the precise definition of caddywampus is askew.
I remember the expressions from my Grandfather Wells (and even Dad comes out with them). They can never remember them until the moment of truth - the actual event. But some remain with me forever - without the moment needed.
"He looks like the north side of a horse headed south". "That's slipperier than a minnow's peter" The list goes on and on.
So check out your favorite Slang Site for the precise definitions.