K.C. introduced me to the Japanese words - "honne and tatemae" that describe your true feelings (honne) and opinions that you espouse in public (tatemae). So "honne" is kept hidden from everyone except your closest friends. We are all taught to "hold your tongue" in various social settings and that is a good rule especially in the temptation of gossip. And for privacy and diplomacy we also "hold our tongue" to avoid revealing ourselves to others or offending others.
I've blogged in the past about the Johari Window (see Vistage Viewing; Lost and Found; What People Think). I attempted this exercise for myself with family, friends and my Vistage group a few years back. This self awareness exercise (like the personality tests) helped me understand how to open up to more people.
So if I superimpose "honne and tatemae" onto the Johari Window there emerges a middle cloud of tension for revealing ourselves to others.